“Rewards and punishments, to speak frankly, are the desk of the soul, that is, a means of enslaving a child’s spirit, and better suited to provoke than to prevent deformities.” Maria Montessori

Students will ask for my judgement or approval regarding their art, appearance, and behavior. My goal is for students to develop the ability to look for themselves, making their own evaluation. So my response to their questioning is usually a return question such as:

What do you think?

Do you like the work you did?

Do you think you did good?

In regards to behavior, children are often hard on themselves. I may remind them of positive points to help them balance their own evaluation. If there is some thing in their behavior they see was disappointing I may say something to the effect of “We are all learning at school” and ask “What could you do next time?” A child seeing themselves as bad does not serve their progression. Why should they try if they always fail? They need to see that they can choose to learn new ways of acting in which they achieve the results they want for themselves. They need to experience the success of evaluating their own behavior, choosing a new behavior and feeling good about that choice. In regards to rewards, this is their internal reward from inside themselves, which surpasses any sticker or sweet treat.