mental health of a child

Hope for the Future

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“Within the child lies the fate of the future. Whoever wishes to confer some benefit on society must preserve him from deviations and observe his natural ways of acting. A child is mysterious and powerful and contains within himself the secret of human nature.” (p. 208, para.3)

Thoughts after reading Part III: 29. The Child as a Teacher
Children are the most important thing that we have to offer our future. It is in our best interest to allow children to develop and grow into “normal humans.” Normal to Maria, is perhaps different than what many of us think. Maria views the normal child as one who is “precociously intelligent, who has learned to overcome himself and to live in peace, and who prefers disciplined task to futile idleness.” (p. 148, para. 1)

This is also the true nature she believes to be inside all men, but can be hidden by deviations and struggles that disrupted the man’s normal development as a child. Often men create wondrous technologies and inventions that seek to make life better and the same technology is used for atrocities. What is meant for good is made into evil. Maria says that we need a higher form of civilization in order to have hope for our world and this can be achieved through the child. The child is our hope for a future in which society can triumph. We wish for children that become virtuous adults, looking beyond acquiring things, fulfilling their spirit through making the world a better place.

Montessori, M., & Costelloe, M. J. (1972). Introduction, Childhood: A Social -Problem. The secret of childhood (pp. 207-208). New York: Ballantine Books. (Original work published 1966)

Desire for work

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“A child’s desire to work represents a vital instinct since he cannot organize his personality without working: a man builds himself through working. There can be no substitute for work, neither affection nor physical well-being can replace it.” (p.186, para. 1)

In a Montessori environment the child develops internal motivation that leads to pursuit of occupations that they enjoy. Although the child is performing educational and developmental tasks, we should acknowledge that this is their work. The child’s occupation is to develop and the materials in the classroom environment are designed to give the children the freedom to work.   A Montessori child may become an adult driven towards selecting occupations that they enjoy because they have had the opportunity to explore a multitude of disciplines, self selecting areas in which they desire to know more about.

As adults, when we do what we love it does not feel like work. As a society we have attached negative feelings towards work as if it is some kind of drudgery; like a child, we should have a natural desire for work  and working should give us a  source of satisfaction.  Working because our work is enjoyable leads to a happier life.

Montessori, M., & Costelloe, M. J. (1972). Introduction, Childhood: A Social -Problem. The secret of childhood (pp. 185-189). New York: Ballantine Books. (Original work published 1966)

Embracing the child inside

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“If physical, mental, and nervous diseases that afflict adults can be traced back to childhood, it is in the life of the child that we notice the first symptoms.” (p.184, para. 1)

My father told to me that as an adult I am the same person that  I was a child. Each day I try to acknowledge this pure part of myself that is free of judgment or expectations.

Life experiences are unavoidable and impact the child, creating obstacles in their natural development. In therapy, the counselor often helps the patient reconnect with their “inner child.” Maria reminds us that as children, many of our issues developed from experiences we endured. Ripples of consequences from events of our youth influence our adult mind today.

As a teacher and a parent we must strive to do our best to cause positive ripples in children’s’ lives. Embracing the child in myself, helps me relate to children because I am making an effort to see their perspective. Taking the time to relate to the plight of the child is worth the results. Showing understanding and partnering with them on their developmental journey is the best gift you can offer.

Montessori, M., & Costelloe, M. J. (1972). Introduction, Childhood: A Social -Problem. The secret of childhood (pp. 183-184). New York: Ballantine Books. (Original work published 1966)

 

Children and mealtime issues

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“When the time came to eat, tiny children would occupy their time with properly arranging their napkins, with looking at their knives, forks, and spoons in an effort to remember the exact way to hold and use them, or in assisting a companion smaller than themselves.” (p.178, para. 2)

Thoughts after reading Part II: Repercussions on Physical Health

Maria reminds us that animals know when to eat and even an infant has their own rhythm and pace when eating. Over-eating may be caused by psychic issues, “The child is attracted by the sight of food, which is judged only by the external sense of taste. The instinct of self-deprivation, the vital exterior force is weakened or disappears.” (p. 178, para. 2) The child who become part of the food preparation process and focus on the proper use of utensils or setting place settings has increased their interest in eating beyond the flavor of food.

Another issue that arises is the child that refuse to eat. We want to feed and take care of children and if our child does not want what we make for them, we may get upset or disappointed. We tell our children not to waste food or encourage them eat faster. In response, children put up self-defense mechanism regarding mealtime they may include extremely slow eating or even refusal to eat at all. If other areas of their life are under extreme adult dictatorship, they may be more apt to punish the adult through their mealtime actions.

Montessori, M., & Costelloe, M. J. (1972). Introduction, Childhood: A Social -Problem. The secret of childhood (177-181). New York: Ballantine Books. (Original work published 1966)

 

Deviating off the path of development

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“Experience has shown that normalization causes the disappearance of many childish traits, not only those which are considered to be defects but also others which are generally thought to be virtues. Among the traits that disappear are not only untidiness, disobedience, sloth, greed, egoism, quarrelsomeness, and instability, but also so-called “creative imagination,” delight in stories, attachment to individuals, play, submissiveness, and so forth.” (p. 154, para. 1)

Maria lists deviations which cause a child to depart from their “primitive plan of development.” A deviation is something has pulled the child off the path of development which they would naturally be drawn to follow. In these instances it is in response to the adults in the child’s lives influence, which is often not purposeful. Understanding these deviations can help us assist the child to return to his intended path.

Fugues: Fantasy play is often encouraged by adults. We relish the fantasies of children. Places like Disneyland are magical places to escape the realities of our own world. For some children the fantasy world becomes a huge distraction of activities that lack a purpose and does not develop concentration except by the way of fantasy. Santa Claus, Easter Bunny’s and Tooth Fairies are fun for the parents, but don’t ground our children in reality.   I have always been honest with my children about what is real and not real. Now that they are older, they appreciate having been told the truth.

Barriers: There are many adults that still carry barriers from childhood caused from childhood experiences relating to education. I hear adults say things like “I’ve never been a good speller” “I’m terrible at math,” or “I can’t draw.” Regardless of their intelligence, they have managed to build barriers in response to a teacher’s judgment of their capacities.

Attachment: Children need to be able to develop a sense of self instead of learned helplessness. When a child attaches themselves to close to an adult, they seek to have the adult direct them and help them in everything. This is also hard for the adult because they become like a slave to the child.

Possessiveness: Maria says that if children have not developed a natural attraction to their environment to develop their senses they are attracted instead to things, trading in love for possession. Some children are collectors, taking and storing things, even if they have no use or value. It is important for the child to reach a higher regard for nonmaterial things and to respect other’s property.

Desire for power: The manipulative child will use adults to get what they want, until the adult has nothing left to give. The child sees the adult as a source of fulfilling their wants and desires. The adult, again like a slave to child, gives and gives until they realize that their child has become spoiled and it is nearly impossible to correct. As difficult as it is, the adult should not start this unhealthy path by submitting to the child’s every whim.

Inferiority complex: The child may develop inferiority complex should he be constantly interrupted or not allowed the opportunity to complete a task. Children develop confidence through completing activities. When children are placed below adults in their ability to do or face constant correction, they feel as though they can’t do it. The child does not want the humiliation with constant correction and would rather refuse to perform an activity requested.

Fear: We want to protect our children from any harm or danger. Although our own fear is understandable, do we want to instill fear into our child? In a Montessori classroom, you will see children using knives to cut as part of a practical life exercise. The child should develop prudence, to know how to avoid danger without holding them back from developing life skills. Instead of being told not to touch the knife because it is dangerous, the children are shown how to use the knife in a safe manner.

Lies: Lies are often told as a camouflage for something else. A child may say something that they really believe is true, they also say something because they want it true. Children also tell untruths in order to defend themselves in a reflexive nature. Adults should not shame children who lie, but try to understand why the child is lying. If they are trying to defend themselves from us, we should try to create an environment where the truth is okay.

As a parent or teacher, we should recognize these deviations if they manifest in a child.  We should examine the way we interact with the child and see what we can do to help him find the way back to his natural developmental path.

Montessori, M., & Costelloe, M. J. (1972). Introduction, Childhood: A Social -Problem. The secret of childhood (pp. 154-176). New York: Ballantine Books. (Original work published 1966)

 

Discovering the child

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“Because a child is constantly passing from a lower to higher state, his every passing minute is precious…. (H)e is fascinated by everything that contributes to his development and becomes indifferent to idle occupations. ” (p. 122, para. 4)

Thoughts after reading Part II: 19. Observations and Discoveries

Repetition of exercise, free choice, absence of toys, no rewards or punishments, silence activities, the dignity and self discipline of the child and early reading and writing are all mysteries encapsulated within the Montessori Method. When observers come into a Montessori classroom they are surprised by the order and the disciplined way that children carry out their task. Some ask “Where are the toys?” or “Why aren’t the children playing?”

In Maria’s classroom toys were available, but so were developmental materials. The toys were neglected and left un-chosen by the children in her classroom. Instead the children would seek activities that helped them grow and develop physically and mentally. Perhaps as adults we tend to put on children our own expectations of what activities children should enjoy. Given free choice to select what they want to do in a Montessori Classroom, allows the teacher to observe what the individual child is working on developmentally. These cues can give the teacher knowledge about the individual child to help guide them through their developmental journey.

The Montessori environment affected more than just the children. The dignity of the children transformed their families and homes. Children want to be part of the family, helping in the home. Their contributions help them feel valued and part of a community. The children from Maria’s Children’s House transformed their community. In spite of their poverty, “(b)roken pots began to disappear from the window sills. Window panes began to sparkle and geraniums began to blossom in the windows facing the courtyard (p. 129, para. 3).”

Montessori, M., & Costelloe, M. J. (1972). Introduction, Childhood: A Social -Problem. The secret of childhood (pp. 119-135). New York: Ballantine Books. (Original work published 1966)

In the beginning, there were fifty children

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“I had nothing more than fifty extremely poor, ragged, obviously timid children,  many of whom where weeping….  A room had been set aside in the apartment house which these children lived, and I was invited to take care of this place of refuge, so the children would not be left abandoned on the stairs, where they would dirty up the walls and be a source of annoyance.” (p.113, para.4-5)

Thoughts after reading The Secret of Childhood, Part II: 18. The Education of the Child

The beginning of Montessori’s work began really like a science experiment. She had very little to offer the 50 children.  Since she had done work with mentally disabled youth, Maria had some tools available to her to try with her disadvantaged 3-6 year olds. Her students surprised her with their use of materials and their ability to concentrate. The children seemed rested and content when given the opportunity to engage in such concentration and focused activity.

In today’s world many children are over stimulated. Too much stimulation can be exhausting for a child. Maria’s classroom was not immersed with toys to tire a child, but meaningful and purposeful activities that helped the child feel good about themselves. Maria was amazed at the child’s mental state upon completing activities. She said the children’s minds were healthier and stronger after engagement.

What stands in the way of a child’s learning? Sometimes it is an adult that does for a child what they can do for themselves. Sometimes it is an environmental factor that stresses a child. Or it could be a nutritional or health issue holding the child back. removing distractions opens up the child’s minds for learning and  to listen to their inner yearning to develop physically and emotionally. As parents and educators we should be observant enough to recognize these obstacles and help break down the barriers in order to free the child’s spirit.

Montessori, M., & Costelloe, M. J. (1972). Introduction, Childhood: A Social -Problem. The secret of childhood (pp. 109-118). New York: Ballantine Books. (Original work published 1966)

The will of a child

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Montessori, M., & Costelloe, M. J. (1972). Introduction, Childhood: A Social -Problem. The secret of childhood (pp. 91-95). New York: Ballantine Books. (Original work published 1966)

Thoughts after reading PART 1: 14. The Substitution of the Personality

“The ability to move about under the guidance of reason and not simply in response to the sensible stimuli leads to concentration, and this fixation of the mind and activity upon a single object is a phenomenon of inner origin.” (p. 95, para. 2)

Children want to do what the adult is doing. They copy and imitate, even if they do not understand what they are imitating. Maria suggests that adults can impose their will on the child, acting through the child to accomplish tasks in the way the adult would want them accomplished. The better approach is to allow the child to develop their own will through inspiring them, instead of directing them.

If you have ever witnessed a Montessori teacher give a lesson, you will notice that she is very calm in her presentation and performs each motion in a purposeful manner at a pace that a child can easily begin practicing. Every little detail is shown to the child, from the grasp of a spoon to transferring the very last piece of grain. The goal of the teacher is to inspire the child to seek his own mastery of the skill, concentration, and self-discipline.

Many would expect that children are normally rambunctious and energetic; Montessori philosophy offers a different perspective. In Montessori classrooms, normalization of children comes about as a response to the classroom environment. Observers are often surprised at how quiet and serious the children seem when they are concentrating in the classroom. The normalized child is acting with their own will and self-driven inner discipline.

 

Missed opportunities in development

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Montessori, M., & Costelloe, M. J. (1972). Introduction, Childhood: A Social -Problem. The secret of childhood (pp. 37-48). New York: Ballantine Books. (Original work published 1966)

Thoughts after reading PART I: 7. Psychic Development

“Slight errors at the beginning can cause the greatest deviations in later life.  A man can grow and reach maturity within a spiritual environment that is really not his own.  He lives shut out from the paradise that should have been his.” (p. 47-48, para. 4)

Certain times in a child’s life are optimal for experiencing and learning various skills or behaviors. If this moment is missed it may be harder to learn later or could be lost all together. The child has an innate desire to meet these needs and if they are not met, it can cause the child a great deal of distress.

As parents, we can get very frustrated when children through tantrums; however, Montessori explains that these tantrums are often signs of an unsatisfied need, a response to alarm, or even disorder. It is essential for us to look deeper into the root cause of the child’s distress. It is easy to demand quiet or calm, but even if the child submits to the adult’s request, their issue remains unresolved. If we discover the root of it, we are better able to understand the child and help promote peace within the child’s soul.

We should approach the child as a scientist, looking for what it is the child is seeking and help them along their journey of growth, nurturing their psychic development by providing them with an environment that can help them on their developmental journey.

A new dream for our children

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Montessori, M., & Costelloe, M. J. (1972). Introduction, Childhood: A Social -Problem. The secret of childhood (pp. 13-16). New York: Ballantine Books. (Original work published 1966)

Thoughts after reading PART I: 2. THE ACCUSED

“(S)ince nearly all adults are either mothers, fathers, teachers, or guardians of children, we may say that all adults stand accused, that the society responsible for the welfare of children has been put on trial.” (p.13, para 4)

What are you doing with the children you are entrusted with? Are you taking it upon yourself to educate and develop the child?  Is this what you should do or is there something more important?

According to Maria, we should allow our children the ability to develop themselves without repressing their growth.  One of the key aspects of Montessori Philosophy is the importance that a child be allowed to develop their own personality.

In my own mind it is hard not to dream of whom I would like my children to become.  Within my own imagination, I see their potential of what they could accomplish; however, to press these expectations and push them towards this end could prevent them from reaching their highest potential.

What is their highest potential?  It is that which they develop themselves that allows them to find happiness and satisfaction in their own life.  It cannot be described in terms of societal success.

Things are quickly changing in the world around us.  Young people are choosing lifestyles that do not involve an ordinary 9-5 job.  Many are choosing to be freelancers or contract workers, so they can have the freedom to pursue their own interests. As parents, this could challenge our ideas of success because we want for our children.

Maria challenges us to stand accused and turn our point of view from our own expectations to that of a child, allowing them to grow without our constant direction.