I have reached a stage in my life where my children are grown. Although they faced hardships as young people, they have become independent. They are freethinking individuals who want to make a positive change in the world. I couldn’t ask for more!

“Peace is what every human being is craving for, and it can be brought about by the humanity through the child.” – Maria Montessori

If we raise children to be lifelong learners, they could truly impact the future of our planet. Allow them to develop and nurture their compassion for others. One thing I have to remember is to listen. I should not try to solve any problems that arise unless they ask for help. They need to have the opportunity to experience success and failure. So, keeping in line with Montessori principles, they experience the outcomes of their choices. No one tries to fix their mistakes for them. Often, just like me, they just want someone to listen while they work out their solutions.

I am not a fan of the approach of ‘now that you are 18, you need to move out and support yourself.’ I suppose this is like teaching your child to swim by throwing them into the water. We live in a world where this could lead to desperation. Choices are more limited while they are trying to figure out how to “adult”. I prefer going into the water with them. I show them and help them learn. At the same time, I gently encourage them to start swimming on their own.

So for a child entering adulthood it is important to watch and see what they are confident in and see what they ask for help with in order to develop their own independence separate from you. Be available to help, but try not to do what they can do for themselves.

For a young adult learning to take care of their bodies it could be helping them learn about health insurance, selecting a doctor, making appointments, and picking up prescriptions. They may need guidance regarding money management and learning how to use money to take care of their environment. They may request assistance in budgeting, opening bank accounts, how to make deposits, transfer money, paying bills, and taxes. These tasks when accomplished or mastered builds confidence and independence.

Parenting an adult should be a balance between showing, assisting, and acknowledgment of their ability with the goal of building their own intrinsic value and confidence that will allow them the freedom and independence to swim on their own.