Month: July 2014

Purposeful hands

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Montessori, M., & Costelloe, M. J. (1972). Introduction, Childhood: A Social-Problem. The secret of childhood (pp. 80-87). New York: Ballantine Books. (Original work published 1966)

Thoughts after reading PART 1: 12. The Hand

“Sometimes very small children in a proper environment develop a skill and exactness in their work that can only surprise us.” (p. 87, para 2)

Children want to touch things. Use of their hands is an important development, essential for human life. Maria reminds us how we use hands to express ourselves, ceremoniously, and for essential human activity. In spite of their importance, many children are told repetitively not to touch certain items and to keep their hands to themselves.

Children are interested in doing what they see the adults doing. They want to be part of their family and participate as others do. Work that may seem mundane to an adult, can be very meaningful to child. Sometimes as parents it is so easy to jump in and do a task quickly, even though the child wants to help. Allowing them the opportunity to carry, to pour, to fold, to wash, or to sweep gives them purpose.

A Montessori classroom provides an environment for which controlled movements can be perfected. You will find that many Montessori students love to help in the kitchen, as they have practiced pouring and cutting exercises at school. A parent may look at a Montessori classroom and ask where the toys are; however, one may not understand that the child finds joy in an environment that they can take care of and which allows them to practice activities they want to do.

Walking in the child’s shoes

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Montessori, M., & Costelloe, M. J. (1972). Introduction, Childhood: A Social -Problem. The secret of childhood (pp. 76-79). New York: Ballantine Books. (Original work published 1966)

Thoughts after reading PART 1: 11. Obstacles to Growth, Walking

“An adult walks to reach some external goal and he consequently heads straight for it…. An infant, on the other hand, walks to perfect his own proper functions, and consequently his goal is something creative within himself.” (p. 78, para 2)

Children need to be able to walk on their own at their own pace, practicing and perfecting their newly learned skill and developing balance.  As a adults, it is easy to make accommodations to insure that our child can keep up with our pace.  Although this is more convenient, the child could achieve so much more if we would allow them the opportunity to walk at their own pace, resting when they need to rest and exploring as they desire.  Caging up our children or securing them in strollers may protect them; however, they need to be able to develop.

Both of my children were early walkers.  At 9 months old, my children were already breaking free from limited movement and searching to explore their surroundings by foot.  This can be a scary time for parents, it was for me!  The child can reach more things, get into more things and move faster than a crawl!  As they improve their skill they get harder to keep up with!  Still they are still light enough to swoop into your protective arms and easy to fit into a stroller. We want so much for them to be safe from danger.

We don’t want to teach our children to be helpless, when they need to be developing muscle movement and balance.  Every day our Toddlers in our Toddler program go for a walk with their teachers.  The walk is not at the teacher’s pace, but at children’s pace.  They get to pause and look at the ducks in the creek.  If they see something interesting they can show their teacher and friends.  The goal is not to get from point A to point B, it is for the child to practice movement, balance and enjoy the journey.  As a parent, you can look at the walk through your own child’s eyes.  Slow down, enjoy the journey.  These precious moments go by so quickly and you can see wondrous things if you take the time to follow the child.

Forced napping, an obstacle to growth

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Montessori, M., & Costelloe, M. J. (1972). Introduction, Childhood: A Social -Problem. The secret of childhood (pp. 71-75). New York: Ballantine Books. (Original work published 1966)

Thoughts after reading PART 1: 10. Obstacles to Growth, Sleep

“(I)f a child is so alert and so quick to observe, he is not a “sleeper” by his very nature. He has need of, and certainly should get, a normal amount of sleep, but it is necessary to distinguish between what is suitable and what is artificially induced.” (p. 73, para 3)

I have worked at schools, where the success of the nap-room teacher was dependent on getting ALL students to sleep. At these schools, the teacher could tire themselves by singing, rubbing backs, hushing and so on. Yet, undoubtedly there are some students that are not tired. Perhaps they go to bed earlier at home or maybe they just don’t need the nap. So why do we force them to sleep? Ratios of sleeping children are higher.

I am so glad that when I am asked about naptime routines at our Montessori school, I can say that napping depends on the child and the parental preference. At our school we do not force sleeping; however, children of a certain age are asked if they would like to rest. It is amazing to peer into the classrooms and see children sleeping, while the rest of the class is working quietly around them.

Maria Montessori warns parents and caretakers about making our children sleep more than they should. Yes, of course children should sleep but should not be forced to sleep when they are not tired. We should help the child recognize when they are tired and provide them with sleeping areas that are easily accessible to them and comfortable. Nap-time should not be enforced merely as a convenience to the adult.

Solving a puzzle

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Montessori, M., & Costelloe, M. J. (1972). Introduction, Childhood: A Social -Problem. The secret of childhood (pp. 60-70). New York: Ballantine Books. (Original work published 1966)
Thoughts after reading PART I: 9. Intelligence

“We should try to understand there is an intelligent reason behind a child’s activities. He does nothing without reason, some motive.” (p. 68, para 2)

Montessori reminds adults that children are very intelligent and are working on developing their intellect in various ways depending on their age. As adults we are easily blinded by our own assumptions. We think we know what children want and often distract them from their own observations to point out obvious things to them and not considering the child’s own developmental needs.

Perhaps we should try to learn more from our children. Instead of placing our own opinions and ideas in their heads, we should seek to understand their ideas. Figuring out a child’s joy, frustration, curiosities, and interests is like solving a complex puzzle. You may be surprised to discover how great their intelligence is and amazed at how they assimilate information if they are allowed uninterrupted time to gather and organize their thoughts and ideas.

In the Montessori classroom work time for the child is sacred and uninterrupted. They are given a rich environment in which they can explore and gather knowledge and ideas. The teacher is a guide whom introduces children to the environment in a way that builds curiosity and invites children to discover and explore on their own.

 

Missed opportunities in development

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Montessori, M., & Costelloe, M. J. (1972). Introduction, Childhood: A Social -Problem. The secret of childhood (pp. 37-48). New York: Ballantine Books. (Original work published 1966)

Thoughts after reading PART I: 7. Psychic Development

“Slight errors at the beginning can cause the greatest deviations in later life.  A man can grow and reach maturity within a spiritual environment that is really not his own.  He lives shut out from the paradise that should have been his.” (p. 47-48, para. 4)

Certain times in a child’s life are optimal for experiencing and learning various skills or behaviors. If this moment is missed it may be harder to learn later or could be lost all together. The child has an innate desire to meet these needs and if they are not met, it can cause the child a great deal of distress.

As parents, we can get very frustrated when children through tantrums; however, Montessori explains that these tantrums are often signs of an unsatisfied need, a response to alarm, or even disorder. It is essential for us to look deeper into the root cause of the child’s distress. It is easy to demand quiet or calm, but even if the child submits to the adult’s request, their issue remains unresolved. If we discover the root of it, we are better able to understand the child and help promote peace within the child’s soul.

We should approach the child as a scientist, looking for what it is the child is seeking and help them along their journey of growth, nurturing their psychic development by providing them with an environment that can help them on their developmental journey.

Importance of order for the young child

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IMG_7032[1]Montessori, M., & Costelloe, M. J. (1972). Introduction, Childhood: A Social -Problem. The secret of childhood (pp. 49-59). New York: Ballantine Books. (Original work published 1966)

Thoughts after reading PART I: 8. Order

“In passing from nothing to that which will be the first principles of one’s future life, a child must make tremendous efforts.  He is so near to the very founts of life that he acts for the sake of acting.  This is the way of creation, of which we have neither knowledge nor remembrances.”

We have to be very careful when projecting our own motivations and perceptions on a child. Maria reminds us that as adults we have had many life experience which has given us in indifference towards order; whereas, as child will look for things to be where they expect them to be based on their limited experiences.

The perfect example is the hiding game. I remember playing with my own children, whom always want to hide in the same place. For the young child, the game is not about the “seeking” it is about “hiding.” The child is testing and gathering information about their environment. They are trying to make sense of the world that surrounds them, working to develop trust and knowledge they can depend on.

In the toddler room at our school, the teachers are very careful to not introduce things into the environment that would disturb their senses. Observers may only peek through the windows. Before school and afterschool exist in the same area. Every day the routine is very established and the children expect what is going to happen.

Everyday the toddler class takes a walk and when they return, I am thrilled when they wave at me.  When I first started working there, I could see the disappointment on their faces as they looked for my predecessor.  Today, I know that I have become part of their expanding world and they are happy to see me!

Mysterious force within a child

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Montessori, M., & Costelloe, M. J. (1972). Introduction, Childhood: A Social -Problem. The secret of childhood (pp. 29-36). New York: Ballantine Books. (Original work published 1966)

Thoughts after reading Part I: 6 The spiritual embryo: The incarnation

“The very fact that a child is not subject to fixed and predetermined guiding instincts is an indication of its innate liberty and freedom of action.” (p.31, para. 2)

Montessori looks at education at the importance of psychic development.  She explains a “mysterious force” which drives moves the body, helping the baby grow in many developmental areas.   Because of the special way in which human children develop, it is essential to provide them with an environment that will nurture their spirit as well as their physical development.

After my second daughter was born I was working at a Montessori school and was began studying Montessori Philosophy.  I tried to incorporate what I was learning into my parenting. Both of my children benefitted from being able to explore their environment in a less restrictive way. The result for my youngest daughter was toilet training at a very young age, as well as walking very early. Both children became very independent and enjoyed doing a lot of things for themselves.  Allowing them freedom to explore nurtured their spirit. This trait is still very present in both of their characters today.

Providing more than the necessities

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Montessori, M., & Costelloe, M. J. (1972). Introduction, Childhood: A Social -Problem. The secret of childhood (pp. 26-28). New York: Ballantine Books. (Original work published 1966)

Thoughts after reading PART I: 5. The natural instincts

“(O)ver and above the delicate care that is lavished upon the physical welfare of a newborn child, attention should be paid to its psychic needs as well.” (p.29, para. 3)

This chapter reminds the reader, that animals in nature show great care in the protection and welfare of our animals.  Their motives are instinctive.   I have the same desire to care and protect for my children.  Yet there is another important aspect, beyond physical care, that is important: spiritual or psychic needs.  It can be easy to get attached to scheduled feedings and diaper changes, but  as parents we are meant to truly nurture our children, passing on our love and wisdom. Providing just the basics without “love” and can be harmful to a child.

I loved singing to my babies.  Each child I cradled in arms and sang endless lullabies.  I will never forget my daughter, only months old, cooing along with me with the sweetest voice.  I tell her today, when she was young I gave her singing lessons.

I even wrote a special lullaby for each of my daughters.  This was an expression of love that I gave to them. Even though they are approaching their teenage years, they still want me to sing them their song.  I believe that singing to them nurtured their spirit from a very young age and today it connects them to feelings of comfort and safety they felt as babies.

 

 

A reflection on the treatment of newborns

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Montessori, M., & Costelloe, M. J. (1972). Introduction, Childhood: A Social -Problem. The secret of childhood (pp. 21-25). New York: Ballantine Books. (Original work published 1966)

Thoughts after reading PART I: 4. The Newborn

“A newborn child should not  simply be shielded from harm, but measures should also be taken to provide for psychic adjustment to the world about it.” (p. 23, para. 4)

As parents we do what we have learned from our own parents and our cultural surrounding.  Although we are rooted in expectations of our communities and families, should we at least consider whether or not our actions truly benefit the child?  At a minimum we should at least entertain the notion that although we try our best and may be doing what society deems as the best for our child, there may be a better way.

Montessori makes a great point when comparing the treatment of the mother, who has given birth, with the treatment of the baby.  The infant has just gone through a tremendous journey, entering an entirely new environment.  It is true the mother has endured a tremendous ordeal; however, it is incomparable in many respects.  Montessori reminds how animals warm their babies with their own bodies, giving of their own heat to the child instead of wrapping them in clothing which can be restrictive and unnatural compared to the womb-like environment from which they came.  The process of using a midwife for my second child was a much different experience and I believe that both of us benefited from a more natural approach to childbirth.

The miracle of existence

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Montessori, M., & Costelloe, M. J. (1972). Introduction, Childhood: A Social -Problem. The secret of childhood (pp.17-20). New York: Ballantine Books. (Original work published 1966)

Thoughts after reading PART I: 3. Biological Interlude

“(T)he psychic life of a child needs to be protected and to be surrounded by an environment that could be compared with the wrappings placed by nature about the physical embryo.” (p. 20, para. 2)

It is amazing to ponder the miracle of human development.  When I found out I was pregnant with my first daughter, I was able to view a very early ultrasound where the only thing I could really see was the heart beat, witnessing the beginning of existence and development. The second ultrasound, I could see her features so clearly and could actually see her licking her umbilical cord, already curious about her surroundings. When I finally met her in person, I was amazed by her beauty and perfection!

Up until the point of her birth, she was developing independently within the safety of my womb. How can we continue to provide the environment that would best continue this development in the real world?  A prepared environment, like a womb, can create a nurturing place in which the child can explore and grow within the safety of boundaries.